“For everyone who knows there was enough room for Leonardo DiCaprio on that door. And for England. We’re really sorry for what we’re about to do to your history.”
Rating: 4/5 hilarious stars
Edward (long live the king) is the King of England. He’s also dying, which is inconvenient, as he’s only sixteen and he’d much rather be planning for his first kiss than considering who will inherit his crown…
Jane (reads too many books) is Edward’s cousin, and far more interested in books than romance. Unfortunately for Jane, Edward has arranged to marry her off to secure the line of succession. And there’s something a little odd about her intended…
Gifford (call him G) is a horse. That is, he’s an Eðian (eth-y-un, for the uninitiated). Every day at dawn he becomes a noble chestnut steed—but then he wakes at dusk with a mouthful of hay. It’s all very undignified.
The plot thickens as Edward, Jane, and G are drawn into a dangerous conspiracy. With the fate of the kingdom at stake, our heroes will have to engage in some conspiring of their own. But can they pull off their plan before it’s off with their heads?
If you told me I would read a story about a girl who marries a man who turns into a horse and then becomes the Queen of England (for nine whole days, may I add) and has to attempt to save all of England I probably would have laughed at you. But then again it’s 2018 so I really shouldn’t be surprised that YES, I read a story like this, and YES, I loved it. I’m still trying to figure out three things though:
1) HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?
2) WHY DID I ENJOY THIS SO MUCH?
3) WHY DOES THIS MAN WHO TURNS INTO A HORSE REMIND ME OF MY HUSBAND SO MUCH? (Seriously, they even have the same nickname)
These are the important questions, my friends. Before I get started, I just want to note, if you have not read this yet do yourself a favor and listen to the audiobook. It is amazing and the narrator is a riot. She brought the story to life so well and had me howling at my desk at work while listening to this. If my coworkers didn’t already think I was a lunatic they do now. MOVING ON!
Jane, our MC, who like us shares a book addiction, can’t be bothered by literally anything other than her books. She especially cannot be bothered that she’s next in line for the throne when her cousin Edward dies. So when her cousin, who is very much dying, marries her off to a total stranger in an attempt to save the throne she is obviously less than pleased. All goes as well as possibly expected when you’re getting married to a total stranger and know that you have partake in the “the special hug” later that night. I swear to God I can’t even make this stuff up. Anyway, it all goes as expected until Jane’s new husband, Gifford (a.k.a) G, literally turns into a horse the morning after they are married. Yes friends, you read that right. A HORSE.
Now I don’t want to give away too much about this story because you just need to experience this for yourself. And it is quite the experience. But just know that Jane, G, and Edward go an epic journey to save all of England from a certain vengeful someone who is trying to secure the throne. I’m no history guru and will admit that I did have to look up who Lady Jane Grey was before starting this but that only furthered my love for this story. The authors did a fantastic job of twisting England’s history into a magical, hilarious, heart-warming love story that instantly hooks its readers (it also includes a much happier ending for Lady Jane Grey as well).
I mean seriously, JUST READ THIS!
“No horse jokes,” he said.
“My lord, I apologize for the horse joke. If you put down the book—unharmed!—I will give you a carrot.”
He brandished the book at her. “Was that a horse joke?”
“Was that a horse joke?”
Again, this is quite the experience.
All in all, if you’re looking a fun, fast-paced, epic journey to go on with the most lovable characters ever then look no further than this. And if you don’t like this OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!! (just kidding 😉)
P.S- this includes the hate to love trope! (a.k.a the best trope ever)
Until next time,